Stories of marriage

Jenny Offill's Dept. Of Speculation was an interesting read. That statement seems a tad, what? Lacking in sincerity? I'm trying to be nice here which is one of my faults - the don't hurt others dictum.  No offense Ms. Offill, but the story depressed me. I've read so many books lately about marriages that break up for one reason or another. No one seems to be writing stories of happy marriages or marriages that have stood the test of time. I suppose because they would be boring. Where's the angst? Where's the literary challenge? People don't want to read about how life is boring and the day to day details of life are just that, details. Everyone wants excitement. Life isn't that way. Maybe that's why so many turn to alcohol or drugs to dull the pain, or affairs.

Marriage can be hard. Marriage can be fulfilling. Mine for example is readying itself for the next phase - the empty nest. Our youngest goes off to college in the fall. I'm looking forward to life being just the two of us again. It has been a long time since we were free to do as we pleased without thinking about the kids and their needs and schedules. However, in the last week it has begun to hit me that another phase of our lives is closing - parenthood. The parenthood of school age children. We are now the parents of college age children and before we know it of young adults. The old cliche of when a door is closed another one opens is upon us. 

Part of life is acknowledging and accepting change. Perhaps that's why so many others struggle within their marriage, they don't realize that marriage isn't static it too changes and grows and the partners must change along with it. Marriage is a living thing because it is a human construct and we are living beings. All living things evolve and so does marriage over the course of its life time. Evolution is all about the organism that is best able to adapt to the environment is the one who survives. Those who are best able to adapt to the ever changing environment of marriage are those that survive. I think Darwin would be shocked to read this but at heart I think he would agree, didn't he work hard to adapt his work to fit within his marriage? He knew that his life's work when published would hurt the one he loved most, but he did it anyways. And Emma Darwin who loved her husband may have argued with him but accepted in the end because she loved him.