A self help book of a different kind

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How often have I (or you dear reader) picked up a self help book at the library or the book store looking for advice or a cure for what ails? Too any, enough for me to resolve not to pick them up anymore. Why? Because the answers are not going to be found in a book but rather in my own experiences of life and the many trials and errors that daily life brings my way. Grant I've found a few good tidbits of advice over the years but nothing so profound as to change it radically. So you might be asking yourself where is this all heading? The answer is to How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great written by Karen Karbo.

This is a very different type of "how to" book than others, it's more of a biography with insights into a philosophy for living gleaned from a very well lived life. In fact Karbo even points out mistakes that Hepburn made during her life time and suggests ways to avoid them, most notably to wear sunscreen. Hepburn showed her age early in life as her fair skin often burned from the time she spent outdoors with no protection.

I think the most important lesson learned from this book is to be myself. Hepburn did not fall prey to the Hollywood expectations for actresses of her day. She was her own character, she worked hard, she spoke her mind, she dressed as she pleased, she thought her own thoughts, and she valiantly strode through life in spite of its challenges. I like that because all too often I have allowed myself to "go along to get along." Fell in with what "society" thinks is appropriate. Did what I thought would please people who are important to me. No wonder I don't feel like I know myself at times because I'm spending too much time trying to be someone else. Luckily I'm learning to stop this behavior. Now in middle age I no longer want to live that way. I've begun to discover what it is that I truly love to do and I'm pursuing that. Life has become so much more pleasurable as a result. One thing I have experienced is the struggle that women face between the choice of motherhood and career something that Hepburn chose to avoid. She chose career. For me I chose motherhood for a time and once my children reached middle school I entered into a career. I've learned for me that I can have both just not at the same time. Was it a struggle? Yes! There have been many times over the last few years that I felt that I let my children down when the focus of getting a new career path off the ground got in the way. I also had to learn that the job needs to come second. Not an easy lesson for me. Most importantly, I think it is up to each woman to figure out her own pathway, I can only share with you my experience and Karbo shared what she thought Hepburn's life can teach us. In the end we each make our own lives the unique experience and we must make it genuine - you can't copy someone else's.