Where do the French go?

In continuing to read stories and memoirs where our hero or heroine picks up their lives and moves somewhere else, which I think I'll call the Peter Mayle effect, I've begun to wonder what this is telling me.  I don't have to wonder, I know - I'd like my life to be different than it is right now. Thankfully I find escape in books and not drugs; the habit is cheaper and doesn't ruin my body or my relationships. But where would I want to go? My last post was by a Canadian woman who moved to Paris via California (Paris Letters) and my newest read is another Brit (like Peter Mayle) who moves to the Poitou-Charentes region of France - Tout Sweet by Karen Wheeler.

I think countries like France and Italy have come up with a great way to get their old run down cottages, farms, and villas renovated and boost local employment of handy men/women - get some foreigner to come in with dreams of bucolic village life, and spend a lot of money trying to achieve it.  Don't get me too wrong here, I think restoring existing buildings is wonderful. I hate seeing the clearing of land followed by brand new construction when there are abandoned properties waiting to be reused. I often wonder why some of these places aren't being used - taxes? death? squabbling families and inheritance? In Tout Sweet and The French House (see post here), the in-comer buys a home that is more hovel than habitable: no plumbing or heating, roofs that need major repairs, flooring that must be put down, walls redone and the list goes on. But they are in love with the idea of what life will be like when everything is done, and because it has turned out well they've successfully pitched the book idea to some publisher.

So where do the French go when they want to start over? I certainly haven't read any of those memoirs, or perhaps they are only available in France. Or is it a mind set of Americans or Britons who need to escape? Are the French all happy just where they are or have they found the secret to living a contented life? As for me, I know that running away from home isn't going to be my solution. Learning to be content with where I am is the challenging lesson for the day.

How much money will it take ....

Paris Letters -
Janice MacLeod and
Cafe tea pot

I was drawn to Janice MacLeod's Paris Letters simply by the first line of the back cover blurb, "How much money does it take to quit your job?" Excellent question! In her case not as much as she thought, but her plan was to take a break for a year and rethink her career plans - I want to retire. I want to be done with working altogether. I'm still a bit young for retirement as I can't start drawing on the IRA monies for at least another ten years.

MacLeod did what many of us dream of, quit the job and go off to explore the world. She ended up in Paris. It seems everyone wants to run off to Europe to end up in Paris, or Provence, or Florence. To have a little apartment or reclaim a farm house and plant a garden. It all sounds so wonderful and I'm grateful to the numerous people who have done it and written about their experiences, but deep down I know it isn't what I want. I want a quiet little place on a lake or a lazy river where I can sit and watch the water flow, hear it lap against the bank, see sun or moonlight sparkle upon it. To set out in my kayak and paddle early in the morning or late in the afternoon as the sun sets. That's what I dream about. Now how much money do I need to make this dream a reality?

Money isn't really the object here, it's the belief that I can make this a reality that is at the heart of the matter here. I need to believe that I can have this dream. MacLeod wrote a lot about her 'old life' of being a copywriter and that it was her dream job but that she had come to dislike it. The dream hadn't turned out to be what she expected. She had been living a life that wasn't authentic. She began to strip things away until her possessions fit in a suitcase and took to the road. At some point she finally gave up one last reminder of her previous life and it was then that "I forgave myself for my prior judgements of not being good enough to be just who I was" (107). There it was - the truth - my truth. My constant daily struggle to be okay in myself no matter where I am. Quitting my job and going halfway around the world will not solve my problems. Accepting who I am is the only solution and discovering what it is that makes me happy and doing it is what's most important now. Everyone wants to travel to see Paris, but deep down in my heart I know it isn't for me. And that's okay. Step one - stop living someone else's dream.

"Write to learn what you know.... First and most obviously was that I had all the inner resources I needed to effectively deal with my situations" (240). Paraphrasing that - I read to learn what I know, and she's absolutely right, I do have the inner resources to deal with my life. I've been learning as I have managed to get through every challenge I have faced in my life. I've simply not given myself credit for the inner strength because I've been waiting for someone else to point it out to me. It's just not going to happen that way. The only person that can pat me on the back for all the hard work I've done is me. With that knowledge, I can begin to plot, plan, and save for rescuing myself from the life I thought I wanted and start living the life I really want. You can too!!

MacLeod, Janice. Paris Letters. Naperville, Illinois: Sourcebooks, 2014.

Curious Stories - Yann Martel

The newest novel from
Yann Martel

I remember when I finally sat down to read The Life of Pi and found myself completely sucked into the story. I was out there in the lifeboat with Pi and that tiger. The daily struggle to problem solve: filter water, catch food to feed himself and the tiger, how to overcome the fear and continue to fight the good fight for survival. The story telling was engaging, I had to keep reading until it was finished. DON'T BOTHER ME I'M READING! was my attitude.

I started The High Mountains of Portugal and once again I was enveloped in the book. This time Martel has written three distinct stories (Homeless, Homeward, and Home) that are intertwined with each other. In each is a man struggling with grief and the ones who love him may have good intentions in assisting, but they must find their own way. It is the theme of journeying to find themselves and their place, their home in the world after the loss of a loved one whether it be lover, wife, child, or parent.

Martel reflected on the importance of story telling in this novel. In the first story there is an old journal written by a priest, which plays a key role. The second is the passionate reading of Agatha Christie novels by husband and wife - something shared in their married life. The last story switches from reading (although there is some) to journaling. In the second story, there is a discussion of faith, of Christianity in particular. "A story calls upon us as God calls upon us, as individuals - and we like that. Stories benefit the human mind" (Martel 155). How profound I thought, how stories help to nourish our souls and that transcends religion and enters the realm of true faith something unique to humanity. Every culture has its stories and it is that which makes us who we are. Each one of us is a story unfolding, and when we were are gone, hopefully, there will be someone to share our story with others.

Using "Big Magic" to get beyond the fear

Most of us know our character flaws. Some are hidden well and take years to find, acknowledge and finally address. Mine is fear. There! San't be too afraid if I announce it to the entire world, but still I haven't come to grips with it. It doesn't drive my life like it used to, thankfully. When fear was in charge nothing happened. I was paralyzed. I kept doing, but I did what I thought everyone else wanted me to do. That's what fear did to me - it blinded me.

I just finished Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear and found it inspiring. Now as a famous writer, she admits to getting lots of fans who tell her how wonderful Eat Pray Love was, and many people have criticized it; I couldn't get through myself (can't tell you why, but there it is) so I can't give an honest opinion but by what she wrote in this book she's perfectly okay with that. That to me is a great lesson; not everyone is going to like everything I do or write, and that shouldn't keep me from doing and writing. The fear of people not liking me or my work kept me from even starting and that allowed fear to stay right where it wanted to be - in charge.

It's that perfectionism streak that does me in, and here's Elizabeth's advice on that: "You must learn how to become a deeply disciplined half-ass. It starts by forgetting about perfect. We don't have time for perfect. In any event, perfection is unachievable" (166). I love that. Someone has given me permission to be a half-ass, which is better than being a no-ass, which is what I was if I allowed perfectionism to prevent me from getting started. Being a half-ass is progress in my book.

Gilbert has peppered her work with many anecdotes and here is one of my favorites. A 70 year old woman told her, "We all spend our twenties and thirties trying so hard to be perfect, because we're so worried about what people will think of us. Then we get into our forties and fifties, and we finally start to be free, because we decide that we don't give a damn what anyone thinks of us" (174). That's where I stand now on the cusp of 50 and I've finally figured out that I just need to be me whether or not anyone else likes that. I've spent way too much time trying to be someone I thought I should be.

Her book is an eloquent pep talk for all those who strive to live a creative life. Creativity comes in so many forms and whether or not I ever achieve fame and fortune, I've learned that I need to live this way. Hiding my creative side was not helping me to be a happy person.  I'm happier and calmer when I'm following a creative pursuit like writing, or drawing, or decorating the house, or working in my garden, or knitting, or... or... or...  There are so many ways that I enjoy being creative and the challenge is that I only get 24 hours a day, which means I better get to work.

Gilbert, Elizabeth. Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. New York: Riverhead Books, 2015.

Where have I seen this before? #2

Constable on the wall of the
Boston MFA

In my first in the series "Where have I seen this before?" I wrote about mystery plots that had similar plots, that of murder within a group of tourists. Earlier this week I was visiting the Boston MFA, and while walking through the European Art gallery (2nd floor) I spied John Constable on the wall and thought instantly of Ngaio Marsh's Clutch of Constables that I had written about. Pondering the painting more I thought of all the novels I've read that have focused on art as their subject matter, and realized I could compose several blog posts for this series, but I'll start today with just one topic to focus on - smart, talented, young girl used by older guy.

The Art Forger by B.A. Shapiro tells the story of Claire Roth a fine arts graduate student who has fallen in love with her married painting professor and engages in a sexual relationship with him. Isaac Cullion is a modern abstract painter with a case of undiagnosed mental illness (bi-polar?) who has lost his groove, flow, muse, inspiration - you choose what to call it. Claire makes the mistake of trying to egg him on to create a piece of art for an exhibition by telling him they will do it together. She starts the canvas, he directs by instructing her how to use his techniques. A work of art is produced and Cullion signs his name. The critics come to view and are astounded. The MOMA acquires the painting and proudly displays it. Cullion says nothing, accepts the accolades, and then returns to his wife. Claire decides to speak up for her work, but only manages to turn the art world against her - she's the spurned mistress trying to get hers back on her lover.

Several years later, Aiden Markel, owner of a prestigious Boston art gallery comes looking for Claire.  Claire has been making a living working for a firm that specializes in making reproductions of famous paintings, let's be clear they are not being sold as the real thing. Claire it turns out is very good at her job. Markel brings her one of the stolen art works from the infamous Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum robbery for her to forge. His plan is to sell the forgery to a buyer and get the real thing back onto the museum wall. I'll let you imagine how well this will work out for Claire. Sorry no spoilers today.

Amy Gail Hansen chooses a different art form that of writing for her novel The Butterfly Sister. Ruby Rousseau a senior at a fictitious all girls college on the banks of one of the Great Lakes, makes the mistake of starting a romantic relationship with her married professor, the one who will be grading her senior essay. The first sign that things aren't going well is that her notes mysteriously disappear around the time that Ruby's lover admits to sharing some of her ideas in a talk he'd given at a conference (the one he didn't or wouldn't let her attend with him). Must keep our relationship a secret is his excuse. As the semester goes on, the professor starts to grow cool while Ruby works long hours on her thesis. The big day comes - he gives her a D on the paper, she finds him in bed with another woman, and driven to the brink she attempts suicide.

Ruby has withdrawn from school and is working on putting her life back together when she receives the suitcase of a missing fellow student. Looking through its contents she spies a clue that she holds onto before turning the suitcase over to the police who are looking for the missing girl. Ruby begins piecing together the facts that her beloved professor, for she's still stuck on him, is in fact a serial user of students both sexually and for their work. That's right, the man has stolen her brilliant senior thesis and published it as his own work. And she's not the first he has done this to. Read on for I will give no spoiler here today.

Point is both these novels deal with young women who trust the wrong man when it comes their creativity. The men use their work for their own gains whether it be for money, prestige, or job security. Both women never saw it coming that the men that they loved would steal their creations and pass them off as their own. Plagiarism is a huge crime on the intellectual level, but these men also committed the crime of psychological and emotional abuse by using a sexual relationship to get what they wanted. Both women were immature when it comes to relationships and they gave themselves whole-heartedly to these men. Their hearts were abused, as well as, their minds leaving them with the task of learning to trust again and hopefully to love again. But more importantly having the confidence to create again.

Hansen, Amy Gail. New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2013. Print
Shapiro, B.A. Chapel Hill, NC: Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 2012. Print.

Coffee and books - the elixirs of Life

How Starbucks Saved my Life
Michael Gates Gill

Picked up a memoir to read over my February break from school, Michael Gates Gill's How Starbucks Saved My Life: A son of privilege learns to live like everyone else.  Now first of all I must be honest, as a New Englander, if I buy coffee out (Yankee thrift means I brew my own at home) I tend to prefer Dunkin Doughnuts to Starbucks. There I said it. I'm sure that will lead to lots of controversy. Point is I don't think you have to be a coffee drinker to appreciate the lessons that Gill learned and shared in his honest account of putting together his life after being fired from his long-time, high flying, well paid job as an advertising executive; divorce from his wife of many years with whom he had four children, and fathering of a fifth child with a woman he'd had an affair with, which contributed to his divorce. Alone and broke he found himself in his local Starbucks being asked by a young African American woman if he was looking for a job. His answer was simple - yes.

Gill was the son of wealthy, well-connected parents. His memoir is sprinkled with names of the famous people he met through his parents, as well as, the people he met in his own professional life after having attended the right school (Yale) and getting the right job (hired by another alumnus). But it didn't matter who he knew on the day he realized that he'd really screwed up his life because those people were no longer able to offer him the assistance he most needed - a job. Now he was a man who needed income and health insurance benefits, especially after learning that he had a rare tumor that was impacting his hearing. So he started his new job at the bottom. Afraid of screwing up he accepted cleaning chores and found them to be concrete tasks that he felt confident of being able to successfully complete. His manager worked him slowly up the task that he feared the most - waiting on customers and running the cash register. Eventually he would find a niche serving as a coffee ambassador and to the most challenging of all - making of the espresso drinks.

With each new hurdle, Gill shared a memory about a similar challenge in his earlier life, or more like seeing the situation from the side he'd previously been on. Now he was the student,  the minority,  the employee, or the invisible. I read how he learned so many of life's many painful lessons late in life and how had he been open to these lessons earlier in his life how different it would have been. Lessons in how to be a better husband, father, mentor, or member of society.

Sometimes we need to lose everything in order to start fresh and learn a new way of living. Many a recovering addict (insert addiction type here) will tell you that they had to hit bottom before they could take on Step 1 (admitted I was powerless and my life was unmanageable) and start the long road back to sanity. But there are others who say that you can start changing your life no matter where you are on the road. Reading this memoir was a reminder that I don't need to wait for the bad times for me to tackle change in my life. Change can happen any time as long as we are open to the signs, the lessons, the teachers, and the desire.

Where have I seen this before? - #1

Sometimes we all need a little refresher in how to do something that we do constantly and take for granted in this case - reading. Thomas C. Foster's How to Read Literature Like a Professor was sitting on our bookshelf from the time I purchased it for my daughter to use in her first AP Literature course as a junior in high school (now a senior in college?!!), just tempting me to pick it up and peruse its chapters. Several chapters were devoted to the sources from which authors draw inspiration for characters, themes, symbols, plot devices, and more. Of course I knew that authors do that all the time, but it made me pause to think about the current stories that I was drawn into.

I've written before about the joys of audiobooks as the ultimate in hands free reading. Talk about multitasking: reading while driving, reading while walking, reading while doing housework, and reading while knitting. What could be better? So I found a title among the many on the library's website, downloaded it and proceeded to "read." Katherine Hall Page's amateur sleuth, Faith Fairchild, a resident of a fictional Massachusetts town, which based on all the setting clues is located not to far from where I live, was on vacation in Italy with her husband. (The Body in the Piazza) Arriving in Rome they meet a charming British travel writer who shortly gets murdered in front of their very eyes. After giving the police their statements the Fairchilds figure that the authorities will take over and solve the case so they move on to their next stop a cooking class held at the Tuscan villa of their old friends. There they meet their fellow culinary students and all is not as it seems.

Now where have I seen this before? Ah-ha! Ngaio Marsh one of the Grand Dames of British Crime writing has used this one before. In When in Rome, she plants her multilingual, sophisticated inspector from the CID, Roderick Alleyn amend a group of tourists. He is hot on the trail of a drug dealer who ends up the murdered corpse. Not all of the members of the tourist group are who they seem to be. Oh there is the innocent traveler mixed in with the drug users and victims of the murdered man's blackmailing schemes, but who among them is the killer?

She used the device again in A Clutch of Constables, this time planting Troy Alleyn the inspector's wife in the role of amateur sleuth and innocent traveler among a group of tourists who are not who they claim to be. This time it is Troy who gathers clues and impressions of her fellow travelers trying to figure out who might be the killer. Luckily, her husband comes to assist in identifying the killer before an innocent traveller is falsely accused of murder.

Agatha Christie also placed her famous detectives on holiday among people with murder in their hearts. I can think of Miss Marple resting up on an warm tropical island after a bout with illness in A Caribbean Mystery and Hercule Poirot vacationing in Egypt cruising along in Death on the Nile. The more I sit and think about it, I find that  I could name many other titles where a group of tourists are under the suspicions of the police or super sleuth for having committed murder. It is certainly a favorite plot device of authors and of this reader.