Books - food for the soul

I am no where near finishing the current book I'm reading (G.M. Malliet's A Demon Summer), but I came across this quote that struck me to the core: Books are to the soul what food is to the body. Let the sister in charge of the scriptorium be alive to the rare sanctity of her duty. - The Rule of the Order of the Handmaids of St. Lucy (p. 120). Maillet has placed her character, Max Tudor former British spy turned vicar turned amateur sleuth, in a fictitious abbey run by the Order of the Handmaids of St. Lucy (also fictitious and not to be confused with the Liberal Catholic Order of St. Lucy). Max is making the rounds of the abbey meeting each of the sisters and learning about their role in the order. I haven't even read the chapter about the librarian from which the quote above heads, but the idea that books are food for the soul is such a powerful one I needed to stop and reflect on the thought.

Nourishing the soul can come in many forms I am learning. Just the other day while waiting with my mother for her most recent test results following her cancer treatments we went to the Boston MFA just blocks from the Dana Farber cancer center. There we immersed ourselves in the beauty of the American Impressionists. We spent a good hour and a half in just one particular gallery soaking up the color and emotions that the artists had expressed in their work. Scenes of nature - farmland, forest, seascapes, morning, noon, and sunset. Scenes of everyday life - dressing, caring for the home, children at play, the sharing of a cup of tea with a friend. Scenes of grandeur - city streets, the opera, the aristocracy dressed for coronation ceremonies. Each and every one food for the soul.

Yesterday afternoon working in the garden tending to the plants was another form of nourishment for my soul. I pruned plants whose blossoms are spent and foliage is withering. I transplanted day-lilies and irises to sunnier locations for next spring. I began the task of digging countless holes for spring blooming bulbs. The immediate results are an aching lower back, but the long term results will be the riotous colors I will enjoy from my favorite writing spot.

A good long walk can also be good for the soul. Time to contemplate life in rhythm to my steps and swinging arms. My breath finds a pattern to the motion. My eyes take in the beauty around me. I can either empty my mind of thoughts, or focus on them to find solutions. The endorphins do wonders for body and soul as well.

That brings me to books - the whole reason for this post. Over the course of my life books have been nourishment for my soul. I've lost myself in stories when I needed to escape from the challenges of my own. I've learned from textbooks and in return I teach others using them. I've gotten tips from self-help books on how to organize, exercise, meditate, or cook. I've found comfort and encouragement from books with spiritual or uplifting themes. Books have been there for me and will continue to be there for me to fill my soul. What a duty and gift it is to share books with others. It is one I take seriously.

Deceptive cover art

The Matchmaker

The Matchmaker by Elin Hilderbrand looked like an innocuous summer read. Just look at the cover - bare feet walking in the surf, blue sky, and a bicycle. Safe you would think, but no. Sorry but SPOILER ALERT: what starts like a fun romantic read takes a turn for the worst. The main character discovers she's dying of cancer. She's failed to see the signs that she is sick and by the time it's discovered it's terminal.

Now normally this might not have upset me, but when I started to read this book my mother was battling cancer. Hilderbrand describes the sorrow that a mother has at leaving behind a daughter, and a daughter preparing to lose her mother. It was a kick in the gut. By the time I reached the end I was in floods of tears. Hilderbrand wrote a wonderful story about living, loving and dying and well worth the read. Just have tissues near by.

As I prepared to write this post I did a little research on the author and discovered that she was diagnosed with cancer one month before the publication of this book. (Read
about the author's own battle with cancer) I imagine it must have been a shock when the news came after she had completed her own research in order to write her novel. There is no way to prepare for such a diagnosis, but the more people share about their experiences with this disease, the more hope and courage others can gain for their own battles. My mom's doing great and we were very lucky the tumor was discovered, quite by accident, as early as it was. Lesson learned - go for check ups and seek medical attention when something doesn't seem right, or a problem doesn't clear up.

Books can be a Blessing

One of life's challenges is to find the small blessings that pepper our lives every day. Some days it's hard to do so. And on other days they are so obvious that you can't help but trip over them. The real blessing, is to learn to be present enough in your life to know that blessings are there in spite of the chaos, and to seek them.

As I've written before, words of wisdom can pop off the page when you least expect them to, and that's the small blessing that comes from reading. Martha Woodroof's Small Blessings  came along just when I needed it in my life, and that's the nature of blessings. This novel is filled (SPOILER ALERT) with people who are struggling with addiction and mental illness, either their own or someone's that they care for. Most importantly it is a book about how people gain insight into their true selves.

Everyone has something that they hide or try to run from. As a result of the discomfort, fear, shame, (you add your own emotion here) many seek to ease the pain using drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, overeating, busyness (add your addiction here). Two-thirds of the way through the book (page 207 to be exact), two characters are discussing their unusual childhoods when one states they wouldn't have swapped with anyone else, "Because then I would have been living someone else's life and not my own." To which the other person replied, "It's sort of like we each get our own adventure, isn't it?" And there is the lesson - accepting one's life, accepting one's adventure, accepting one's own identity. It is when we try to run from ourselves that we run right into trouble. Haven't I done the same time and time again. I needed to be reminded that it's time to stop running. It's time to learn acceptance. It's time to practice the wisdom of the Serenity Prayer - accept the things I cannot change, find the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. It's the last part that's the real kicker.

French Lessons?

Watercolor palette and brushes

There are many times when a particular phrase carries so much meaning in the original language but cannot be translated completely into another, hence the phrase "lost in translation." Yet while reading Marjorie Price A Gift from Brittany  I perfectly understood the words spoken by an old French peasant woman "tu vas connaitre la misère (You will come to know misery)." Of course it helped to have been brought up with Canadian French relatives who still spoke the language and two years of high school French. Then again life has taught me the understanding of the phrase as well.

"Perhaps there was wisdom in expecting misery to be a part of life, in accepting the fact we can't evade it. Trying to deny it only makes it more devastating, more lethal, so that when something tragic happens, we are unprepared and cut done by it." (p. 228, Gotham Books New York) How true is this quote! Life is a mixture of good and bad. It is not all one thing or the other. In fact even when you think you are surrounded by misery there are still pockets of joy, you simply have to look for them and recognize them for what they are because sometimes they are the tiniest of things - a smile from a stranger, a parking spot close to the hospital entrance, a person who is willing to serve you even though their shift has ended, a gentle touch. Often when our lives are filled with misery we are unable to see beyond it, we forget that good is even possible. On the flip side when times are good we forget the bad. Living is about learning to know both the good and the bad. To embrace all that life brings. Yes, embracing the bad seems crazy but it carries lessons that need to be learned. Plus if we do not experience the bad we cannot come to truly appreciate the good that life brings.

The New Normal

Downsizing one's life -
Dee William's The Big Tiny

After author Dee Williams had two major life experiences, a volunteer trip to Guatemala and the diagnosis of a heart condition, she took the time to reevaluate her current life style and decided it wasn't serving her. One of her challenges had been homeownership. She'd purchased a fixer-upper which absorbed much of her time; time she realized which she wanted in order to pursue other passions. The solution for that? Build her own little house atop a trailer which could be moved about from location to location and to sell her "big" house, and purge her possessions.  That lead to the recording of her experiences in her "built-it-myself" memoir - The Big Tiny.

Several times in her book she used the phrase 'the new normal' which those of us in my household have added to our lexicon. Our 'new normal' like Williams, deals with a medical diagnosis, not my own but my mother's. In December I received the news that a tumor was detected in her abdomen. That was followed soon after with the pathology report indicating that it was a type of sarcoma. Sarcomas account for only 1-2% of all cancers, due to its rarity it is treated in only three major centers in our country. Luckily one of the treatment centers is only an hour's drive from my home - Dana Farber in Boston.

So of course I find myself doing a lot of reading while waiting for mom as she is undergoing treatment, and Williams' book is the one I finished just yesterday. The take away lesson for me is summed up in this quote from p. 279 where she states that when sharing about her life her listeners, "... want to examine their lives, and discover what makes them truly happy, which leads them to reconsider how they want to live within a community." It's the first step - examine their lives - where I find myself today.

The first step of examining my life led to the quick decision that a leave of absence from work was needed. I would not be able to fulfill my role as caregiver and employee at the same time. Both roles require my full attention, neither could be done half-assed. First decision made - ditch the job for now. The 'new normal' - chauffeur, chef, and chief bottle washer.

Second step of examining my life led to changes in the way I eat and exercise. Both mom and I are maximizing the opportunity for exercise especially as we are finding ourselves spending a lot of time in the car and waiting rooms. Menu planning and shopping lists are drawn up to make sure we are eating healthy. Mom also has celiac so I've had to learn how to prepare meals which are gluten free. We've learned that during radiation therapy you don't want to overdo the anti-oxidant rich foods as they work against the oxidative processes used to kill the cancer cells. Once radiation is over those foods will be incorporated back into the diet in order to heal in preparation for surgery to remove the tumor. The goal for us is to be in the best health possible for battling this disease; for the battle isn't for the patient only, but for the caregiver as well. The 'new normal' - cancer warriors.

Third step - well right now that is learning to live the 'new normal.' Staying in the moment and enjoying life right now. That's what Williams wanted, a life in which she found enjoyment. For her it meant that she no longer wanted to be consumed by her home. For me, our home has become a haven for my mom who is staying with us in order to be closer to treatment. It is where we are safe. Yes, a house is a lot of work and one day I will want to downsize, but for today I am happy here within my walls. Isn't that the whole point? To examine life and determine whether or not it is a contented life that we are living. That means my 'new normal' - is to live a mindful life.

The Swedish Detectives (Books) Arrive on the Scene

From the Martin Beck
Police Mystery Series

Another impact of Global Warming (my tongue is in my cheek here people) is the thawing effect on the Swedish Publishing Houses and the inundation of police procedurals flowing into the ever warming American readership. Case in point, only a few years ago did I first come in contact with Henning Mankell's Kurt Wallander. Here was a detective who struggled with his inner demons, family, and criminals. It was a  new culture for me to explore, this Scandinavian landscape of cities and customs. I was pretty well versed with the British and Italian crime scenes, but like the saying goes this was a 'brave new world.' I will also admit to binge watching the BBC's adaptation of Mankell's work starring Kenneth Branagh as Wallander. A visually stunning production; Sweden is now high on my list of places to visit.

The librarians in my town have been doing their best to help with the importation of these wonderful authors. The Vintage Crime/Black Lizard division of Random House has released Maj Sjowall and Per Wahloo's Martin Beck Police Mystery series with newly written introductions by today's leading police mystery writers. This husband and wife team began writing in the mid-1960s around the time that I was born. These are stories of detection before the advent of computers, DNA fingerprinting, and cell phones. Cases took months to solve instead of weeks or even days. Solid footwork and deduction play the key roles in the capturing of criminals. These are not cozy mystery cases either; hard boiled, and often brutal crimes are committed. What I've learned is that crime and criminals haven't changed much in the last fifty years. I'm sure it is safe to say, that crime hasn't changed much since the dawn of mankind.

The "I Can't Put it Down" Books

Ruth Galloway stories and a
trowel one of her tools of the trade.

Some time back I picked up Elly Griffiths' The House at Sea's End at the library and brought it home. I managed a chapter or two but for some reason couldn't get into the story. A couple of weeks ago I found myself at the bookstore and in need of a good mystery. I love to escape into the world of whodunits and summer vacation is a perfect time to indulge in this pastime. There I was perusing the shelves when Griffiths' titles caught my eye. I read the back of the cover and decided to give it a second try.

Back home with the book, I sat out on the deck and started in and promptly got hooked. I couldn't put it down. I stayed up late in the night reading and polished it off the following morning. Enthralled I went to the library to look for other titles, but sadly only found one more which I read thirstily.

I like Ruth Galloway the main character. She's not super sexy but rather a dowdy overweight smart woman - an archaeologist of all things. She aids Detective Nelson and his colleagues in their work. Unfortunately, I haven't read some of the earlier stories in order to get the full back story between Galloway and Nelson but  I know enough to understand that Galloway's daughter Kate was the result. In these two novels that I've read children are a focus. As a parent it is a bit unsettling for we all know that crimes occur to children and that there is real heartbreak when they do. It is our worst nightmare that something should happen to our children. My own children are old enough for me to be past the fears of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) where you quietly sneak in their rooms to make sure they still breathing while praying they don't wake up. I'm past the school day fears and now I'm on to the college fears. The need to let go and let your children go off and explore the world and make their own mistakes. You can warn them of the dangerous pitfalls that loom but they need to discover them for themselves.

Parenthood changes you, and it changes the characters that we read about. Ruth herself has had to learn that. She is torn by the pressures that working mothers face: the job and the children. There is no good answer, and you are forever doubting your decision making. The most you can hope for is that you choose wisely and that everything will work out alright.