Two ways to learn more about Asperger's

Over the years I've worked with several students who have been on the Autism spectrum, and looking back to my childhood before society's growing understanding of Autism, I'm sure I encountered people with this condition. John Elder Robison describes in his memoir Look me in the eye  about growing up in time when being different resulted in his being mis-labeled as a deviant, being told by his teachers and parents that he wouldn't amount to much, and bullied by classmates. It didn't help that his parents themselves struggled with alcoholism and mental illness. In the end John Elder, as his family called him, left school and home at an early age. Luckily, for him, he had a talent, a gift, some would even say a genius for electronics and that saved him.

It was the late 60s early 70s and John Elder began to hang out on the local music scene where he brought his talents to bear in repairing and enhancing sound systems. As his knowledge grew so did his reputation. He eventually became an employee of the rock band KISS developing trick guitars and effects. Wishing to settle down and get married, he walked away from the music industry and went to work in manufacturing as an electronics developer. All the while he continued to struggle with feeling different and trying to deal with interactions with other people.

Finally a friend suggested that he may in fact have something called Asperger's. Reading up on the subject John Elder came to see that there was a name for what he experienced in his life, and that there were older people like him. Over the years and with the birth of his son he learned how to adapt his behavior to what we consider more socially acceptable. The powerful lesson here is for the reader, Robison vividly explains how his mind works. It is only through sharing our inner workings that we can learn about others. There have been many times I've sat and wondered how other people think, do they see what I see, do they hear what I hear, or do they feel the same sensations as I do? Robison has become a successful businessman, husband, father, author, and now advocate for Aspergerians. We all need to learn about Autism and how it impacts the lives of those with the disorder and the people who love them.

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion is a novel featuring a character who doesn't even know he has Asperger's. Don Tillman is a professor of genetics who lives a very regimented life - practical clothes, planned menu for every day of the week, and times everything in his daily schedule for optimal efficiency. At the beginning of the book he is asked to fill in at a lecture to a group of children and their families about Asperger's so that his philandering friend Gene can cheat on his wife - well they do supposedly have an open marriage. Don does some research, gives the talk, relates with the children, but angers the parents and the woman who had organized the lecture, all not seeing that he himself is undiagnosed with Asperger's.

Don gets the brilliant idea to create a questionnaire in order to find a wife. Gene wanting to throw a spoke in Don's wheel sends him Rosie a woman who definitely will not fill Don's requirements for a wife. The rest of the story as you may guess is the growing friendship and eventual love between Don and Rosie with many ups and downs along the way. Don learns how to deal with one of the greatest challenges for people with Asperger's - how to deal with people when you can't interpret the social cues of facial expressions, body language or spoken figurative language. All these things don't make sense in Don's mind and here again is the lesson for the reader - not everyone's brain works the same. We can't expect everyone to behave the same for none of us is the same. We are not all programed the same way for we are not factory made, we are the result of a lot of chemical reactions which don't always work the same. Doesn't make one of us better than the other - just different and our world would be a much better place if we all could understand this and embrace the differences.

New Installments in Favorite Series

More reads from
Martin Walker and James Runcie

It's always a thrill when one of your favorite authors has put out a new work especially one in a series where you can follow the development of a set of characters. However, there can be a sense of awkwardness when you come into the middle of the character's story line, which I have on more than one occasion, and the author alludes to previous adventures and you have no clue what that means to the character. Then again it does give you the opportunity to search out the earlier titles and catch up on what you've missed, for example I did that with Elly Griffith's Dr. Ruth Galloway series. The only other problem I have experienced with a book series has been that sometimes the author becomes to formulaic and the stories lose their attraction, most notably for me, Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum books. Thankfully, Martin Walker and James Runcie have come through once more.

The Grantchester Mysteries feature now Archdeacon Sidney Chambers as amateur sleuth and Anglican priest. In this newest installment, Sidney Chambers and the Dangers of Temptation,  the 1960s are drawing to a close and world events are drawing Sidney, his family and friends, and society into a new era. As with the earlier books, Sidney is struggling to balance his pastoral duties with his curiosity with crime and assisting his friend Detective Keating with his cases, add to that the pressures of marriage and fatherhood and now you have a character who is forever evolving and never growing boring.

Reading a story that takes place around the time I was a small child gives me a glimpse of what the world was like as I cannot remember those events for I was not yet three when the men walked on the moon. Most notably in this installment of the series, for me at least, was the episode dealing with homosexuality and the legal system in England. In earlier books, Sidney's curate Leonard, is portrayed as struggling with his sexuality, but in this book he has finally met the right person and has fallen in love. Unfortunately, even though homosexuality is no longer a punishable offense, the Church of England hasn't come to grips with the issue nor have many people in society. Leonard is faced with the difficult decision to come out when faced with blackmail. Sidney in his ever caring and thoughtful way gives support to Leonard and instructs the reader about the capacity of God's love. I won't spoil the outcome for you, only know that we are finally making strides today to be inclusive of all.

In contrast, Bruno Courreges, lives very much in our present time, but history has a way of impacting life and one can't always out run its influence. The Children Return focuses on a young autistic man, Sami, from Bruno's village who had disappeared from a local Mosque school and surfaces in Afghanistan. In spite of his disability, or rather as a result of his unique gifts, Sami is in fact a notorious bomb maker wanted by many governments for the deaths of many military personnel. As the book unfolds we are told of the brutality Sami witnessed and suffered in his home country of Algeria and of the impact that the violent struggle that occurred when fighting for independence from France had on him and others. Martin has explored this issue in other books as well.  Now as an adult, Sami has been used by others in their violent struggles. Here too I will not spoil the outcome of the story for you, only to say that terrorists are not born they are made. Children who are witness to brutality or suffer from bullying or abuse will have their personalities altered by the experience and some may grow up to be abusers themselves either on a small scale in their own circle or on a larger world level.

The Buried Giant

What is it that we keep buried deep within our memories? That is the only one of the themes that The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro explores. In this tale of medieval England, an elderly couple witness a malaise among their villagers, something they call 'the Mist,' which robs people of their memories. It results in strange behaviors and ideas among the people, but it isn't just their village that suffers from the Mist, but the entire countryside. The couple set off on a journey to visit their son and on the way encounter other travelers who are seeking a solution to the Mist problem said to be a result of the breath of an aging she-dragon.

There is more than just the Mist that is a problem for our elderly couple, the wife is suffering from a pain and along the way they stop to consult those who are skilled in the healing arts. The husband, Axl, is clearly worried by his wife's ailment, but with the Mist he doesn't see it for what it is. She has hidden her symptoms from him not wishing to worry him. They encounter a group of widows who warn them of the boatmen who would transport them to a distant island, but only after being submitted to interrogation regarding their memories. Only those who really love each other deeply can be together on the island while others are left to wander its shores alone.

Some argue that perhaps fixing the Mist problem wouldn't be such a good thing. Aren't they happy to forget the past, "Yet the mist covers all memories, the bad as well as the good....You've no fear then, of bad memories, mistress?" (Ishiguro 157). To which Beatrice replies, "What's to fear father? What Axl and I feel today in our hearts for each other tells us the path taken here can hold no danger for us, no matter that the mist hides it now. It's like a tale with a happy end, when even a child knows not to fear the twists and turns before. Axl and I would remember our life together, whatever its shape, for it's been a thing dear to us" (Ishiguro 157).

As they travel, their memories do begin to return - the good and the bad. For their marriage hasn't always been good, there has been unfaithfulness, which has been forgiven. Harsh words spoken. The son they seek to visit is in fact dead and buried. And the pain that Beatrice suffers is in fact a sign of a deeper illness buried dead within.

Eventually, Axl and Beatrice encounter the boatman and he speaks with both asking them about their most treasured memories. Each tells of the good and the bad for each are treasured, each type has contributed to their great love for one another. As they climb into the boat, Axl is told there is only room for one passenger and he cannot travel. It is an ache to read of his pleading to be allowed to come, his refusal to be parted from his wife. Yet in the end he has no choice. None of us do when death comes for those we love.

As I read, I tried to figure out what Ishiguro meant by the 'Mist.' Was it tied into society's dependence on escape from experiencing the good and the bad by distraction with technology or worse the use and abuse of drugs and alcohol. Having recently listened to a young man recovering from a heroin addiction, the depiction of the 'Mist' reminded me of his words about how the drug wrapped him in a blanket blocking out the world and his only desire when he came to was to figure out a way to get back to that state. In our communities today the opiate abuse issue is one of great concern, and I don't understand why anyone would be driven to using such a terrible thing to escape from life.

What else could Ishiguro have meant by the 'Mist?' Perhaps I should take it very literally and that as we age we lose our memories. Watching my love ones age and their personalities and memories erased by dementia is heartbreaking. Disease like cancer can alter brain chemistry and result in personality changes that I witnessed in my father's last days. Friends and neighbors share painful stories of caring for loved ones with Alzheimer's, and I've witnessed what happens to the victims of this disease when I visited my grandmother who spent her last years in the memory care ward of a nursing home.

The 'Mist' could mean many different things to different readers. Most importantly for me was the message that there are those that seek to fight the Mist. The importance of holding on to both the good and the bad memories and that one must have both to have a rich full life. That perseverance is a treasured value in helping to achieve a well lived life.

Summertime and the reading is easy ....

Vanessa Greene's
The Seafront Tearoom

For all my fellow school teachers - rejoice for summer is here! Time for relaxation and getting all the jobs we've put off doing all school year like painting the bathroom, cleaning the basement, making appointments with doctors or dentists, etc. etc. etc. Unfortunately I set myself up for failure and disappointment when faced with the arm's length list for summer chores so I've learned to take each day as it comes and do some little task. Keep the expectations low and you will be pleasantly pleased when you achieve even more.

So far I've spent my first two days of summer vacation tidying up around the house, doing laundry, working in the garden and ferrying a parent to a doctor's appointment. Oh yes - and reading. At first I couldn't settle down with a title - should it be something improving? Work related? Emotional? No - it should be something light and fun and summery. My second experience with Vanessa Greene's tea themed novels,  The Seafront Tearoom, delivered just what I needed. It is a story about women with challenges in their life that had to be faced. Women who needed to decide in which direction did they want their lives to go in. Women who needed companionship and found it in making new friends over a cup of tea.

Greene has presented me with several good themes to ponder at a time of transition in my own life. The end of the school year is always a challenging transition; grateful to have completed a year, a bit run down, a bit disenchanted, even managing to begin planning for the next school year, in much need of a break to regroup. I'm not going to go into a diatribe regarding the misunderstood challenges of teaching here, but I do want to say that between the stresses of a job and home life, regardless of what you do, a break is necessary to recharge the batteries before picking up the daily battle once more. Isn't it lovely that reading can be the conduit for that? Even just a couple of pages a day can bring respite. I'm so amazed when colleagues say they don't have time to read during the school year. I would simply die if I didn't make some time, even 15 minutes, for some personal reading every day. Reading is what helps to keep me sane. My advice - brew a cup a tea and sit with a fun book!

Where do the French go?

In continuing to read stories and memoirs where our hero or heroine picks up their lives and moves somewhere else, which I think I'll call the Peter Mayle effect, I've begun to wonder what this is telling me.  I don't have to wonder, I know - I'd like my life to be different than it is right now. Thankfully I find escape in books and not drugs; the habit is cheaper and doesn't ruin my body or my relationships. But where would I want to go? My last post was by a Canadian woman who moved to Paris via California (Paris Letters) and my newest read is another Brit (like Peter Mayle) who moves to the Poitou-Charentes region of France - Tout Sweet by Karen Wheeler.

I think countries like France and Italy have come up with a great way to get their old run down cottages, farms, and villas renovated and boost local employment of handy men/women - get some foreigner to come in with dreams of bucolic village life, and spend a lot of money trying to achieve it.  Don't get me too wrong here, I think restoring existing buildings is wonderful. I hate seeing the clearing of land followed by brand new construction when there are abandoned properties waiting to be reused. I often wonder why some of these places aren't being used - taxes? death? squabbling families and inheritance? In Tout Sweet and The French House (see post here), the in-comer buys a home that is more hovel than habitable: no plumbing or heating, roofs that need major repairs, flooring that must be put down, walls redone and the list goes on. But they are in love with the idea of what life will be like when everything is done, and because it has turned out well they've successfully pitched the book idea to some publisher.

So where do the French go when they want to start over? I certainly haven't read any of those memoirs, or perhaps they are only available in France. Or is it a mind set of Americans or Britons who need to escape? Are the French all happy just where they are or have they found the secret to living a contented life? As for me, I know that running away from home isn't going to be my solution. Learning to be content with where I am is the challenging lesson for the day.

How much money will it take ....

Paris Letters -
Janice MacLeod and
Cafe tea pot

I was drawn to Janice MacLeod's Paris Letters simply by the first line of the back cover blurb, "How much money does it take to quit your job?" Excellent question! In her case not as much as she thought, but her plan was to take a break for a year and rethink her career plans - I want to retire. I want to be done with working altogether. I'm still a bit young for retirement as I can't start drawing on the IRA monies for at least another ten years.

MacLeod did what many of us dream of, quit the job and go off to explore the world. She ended up in Paris. It seems everyone wants to run off to Europe to end up in Paris, or Provence, or Florence. To have a little apartment or reclaim a farm house and plant a garden. It all sounds so wonderful and I'm grateful to the numerous people who have done it and written about their experiences, but deep down I know it isn't what I want. I want a quiet little place on a lake or a lazy river where I can sit and watch the water flow, hear it lap against the bank, see sun or moonlight sparkle upon it. To set out in my kayak and paddle early in the morning or late in the afternoon as the sun sets. That's what I dream about. Now how much money do I need to make this dream a reality?

Money isn't really the object here, it's the belief that I can make this a reality that is at the heart of the matter here. I need to believe that I can have this dream. MacLeod wrote a lot about her 'old life' of being a copywriter and that it was her dream job but that she had come to dislike it. The dream hadn't turned out to be what she expected. She had been living a life that wasn't authentic. She began to strip things away until her possessions fit in a suitcase and took to the road. At some point she finally gave up one last reminder of her previous life and it was then that "I forgave myself for my prior judgements of not being good enough to be just who I was" (107). There it was - the truth - my truth. My constant daily struggle to be okay in myself no matter where I am. Quitting my job and going halfway around the world will not solve my problems. Accepting who I am is the only solution and discovering what it is that makes me happy and doing it is what's most important now. Everyone wants to travel to see Paris, but deep down in my heart I know it isn't for me. And that's okay. Step one - stop living someone else's dream.

"Write to learn what you know.... First and most obviously was that I had all the inner resources I needed to effectively deal with my situations" (240). Paraphrasing that - I read to learn what I know, and she's absolutely right, I do have the inner resources to deal with my life. I've been learning as I have managed to get through every challenge I have faced in my life. I've simply not given myself credit for the inner strength because I've been waiting for someone else to point it out to me. It's just not going to happen that way. The only person that can pat me on the back for all the hard work I've done is me. With that knowledge, I can begin to plot, plan, and save for rescuing myself from the life I thought I wanted and start living the life I really want. You can too!!

MacLeod, Janice. Paris Letters. Naperville, Illinois: Sourcebooks, 2014.

Curious Stories - Yann Martel

The newest novel from
Yann Martel

I remember when I finally sat down to read The Life of Pi and found myself completely sucked into the story. I was out there in the lifeboat with Pi and that tiger. The daily struggle to problem solve: filter water, catch food to feed himself and the tiger, how to overcome the fear and continue to fight the good fight for survival. The story telling was engaging, I had to keep reading until it was finished. DON'T BOTHER ME I'M READING! was my attitude.

I started The High Mountains of Portugal and once again I was enveloped in the book. This time Martel has written three distinct stories (Homeless, Homeward, and Home) that are intertwined with each other. In each is a man struggling with grief and the ones who love him may have good intentions in assisting, but they must find their own way. It is the theme of journeying to find themselves and their place, their home in the world after the loss of a loved one whether it be lover, wife, child, or parent.

Martel reflected on the importance of story telling in this novel. In the first story there is an old journal written by a priest, which plays a key role. The second is the passionate reading of Agatha Christie novels by husband and wife - something shared in their married life. The last story switches from reading (although there is some) to journaling. In the second story, there is a discussion of faith, of Christianity in particular. "A story calls upon us as God calls upon us, as individuals - and we like that. Stories benefit the human mind" (Martel 155). How profound I thought, how stories help to nourish our souls and that transcends religion and enters the realm of true faith something unique to humanity. Every culture has its stories and it is that which makes us who we are. Each one of us is a story unfolding, and when we were are gone, hopefully, there will be someone to share our story with others.