Writing

In touring colleges with my daughter I realize that there is a frustrated English major in me dying to get out. All those years ago I chose to go into Science. Now don't get me wrong, I do love Science. In fact I'm passionate about Science but there is a part of me that loves words and wishes I could spend more time working with them.

"I met people of all ages, everyday of my working life, who were writing because they couldn't stop themselves." (p. 506) Thoughts of Edith the narrator of Kate Morton's The Distant Hours. She's an editor who's just discovered that her own mother had a passion for writing and gave it up years ago, and is a bit too afraid that she can't begin again at the age of 65. This quote gave me hope that perhaps that inner wordsmith has time to come out and create a bit. In fact last night I signed up for NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month a program that encourages the writing of a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. It is all about getting the words out and onto "paper" (nowadays it's electronic paper), quantity over quality at least for the first pass. That's what I need right now because the editor in my head wants to get it down perfectly the first time and that simply can't happen. But if I don't have a goal to sit down and do this writing I might never do it. I have the story idea in my head and notes are beginning to form on paper. In fact I was quite pleased with the ideas that were coming to me today. The challenge will be to schedule enough time to sit and write during the period starting 11/1/11 at 12:00am. I can tell you that I will not be up at midnight starting but I'll get to it some time. Plus the challenge to get it done and uploaded by 11/30. Even if I don't make it at least I will have tried. One of my co-workers went through this process two years ago and the book has been published. There's hope for me yet!

Hector and the Search for Happiness

I was just reading through some notes I made after reading Francois Lelord's Hector and the Search for Happiness, and thought they would make a good post. This book is the story of Hector a successful psychiatrist (even if he doesn't believe that to be true) and his search to find out what makes people happy or unhappy. He has a wide variety of patients some of whom are mental hospital inpatients and others who are "everyday" people who outwardly appear to have everything but are dissatisfied with their lives. Have they pursued the wrong career? Are they in the wrong relationship? Or are they simply bored? Hector decides to travel the world in search of an answer.

I found a quote that struck me as poignant to my own exploration of what happiness is all about. Hector has traveled to Asia and is speaking to an old Chinese monk, "The first time we met, you said to me: it's a mistake to think that happiness is the goal...I was referring to the goals which you  in your civilisation are so good at setting yourselves, and which incidentally allow you to achieve many interesting things. But happiness is a different thing altogether. If you try to achieve it, you have every chance of failing. And besides, how would you ever know that you'd achieved it? Of course one can't blame people, especially unhappy people, for wanting to be happier and setting themselves goals in order to try to escape from their unhappiness." (p. 151-152)

As my life changes I see that my concept of happiness is changing. I too want to have happiness and more so, contentment. Joy is fleeting, contentment more lasting. I've been rushing around working at finding happiness when most of the time it is right in front of me. Sometimes I wonder if I don't allow myself to be happy. Is that a throw back to old fashion Catholic guilt? Are we not allowed to be happy? Did I just experience so much unhappiness in my early life that I don't know what contentment is? Do I spend too much time comparing my self to others and wanting for something to happen that will bring me happiness? It is something for me to contemplate. Sooner or later I will need to quiet my mind and get in touch with my feelings.

I've worked so hard at setting goals and achieving them, but then spend little time enjoying the completion and attainment of those goals. I'm caught up in the cycle of planning and setting a new goal to work on. I need to learn to savor the success for a while before I go haring off after another goal. It's true, acheiving one goal after another doesn't necessarily bring one closer to happiness.

Finding Something New in Something Old

Every once in a while I get the urge to read something "comfortable," and a cozy mystery classic fits the bill. I came across a 1955 Cock Robin Mystery (an imprint of The Macmillan Company) Three by Tey on the shelf of my local library. I had read Josephine Tey's A Daughter of Time and  The Man in the Queue, but this collection includes three novels that I have not read. I am currently in the middle of Miss Pym Disposes and find the writing charming. It is a soothing story so far, such a strange thing to say of a story that involves a murder even if I haven't come across the corpse yet. I'm coming to like Lucy Pym the narrator of the story and her outlook on the women's college that she is visiting that is run by an old school chum (faint memories of Agatha Christie's A Cat Among the Pigeons or Dorothy L. Sayers's Gaudy Night ).

Reading a "cozy" is just the thing for when the rest of life is absolutely crazy. I need reading in my life even when it seems I have no spare time, it is what is helping to keep me sane right now when all the rest of the world seems out of my control. The English countryside of the late forties (no influence of the war is mentioned) is the something old that is new to me.

"Reader Heal Thyself"

A while back I had this brain wave of writing a book about all the different self-help books I had on the shelves of my home. I collected many of them up to review and glean the precious lessons that the authors had offered to me their reader.
One of the oldest books in my collection is Marsha Sinetar's Do What You Love The Money Will Follow. I've held onto this one for a long time because each time I see the title I am reminded that I'm still searching for the work that I love. Words, I love words. I once thought I might work with words. No let's face it, I was afraid of working with words. As a teenager I thought it was not the job my father would approve of. Today, I still wonder what it is I want to do when I "grow up." I face the struggle as to whether or not my choices today are still colored by the thoughts of "what will others think of this choice of mine and will they approve?" What I really need to do is get past those old thought patterns and realize the only one who needs to approve of the work I do, is me.
Sinetar closes her third chapter with four very classic questions and I paraphrase here:

1. What is it I'm supposed to do with my life?
2. What habits must I develop to help me achieve my purpose?
3. What choices must I make to live out my purpose?
4. What would my life look like if I carried out this plan to live out my life's purpose? (p.52-53)

One thing is I would need to make writing a daily habit beyond the journaling I do every morning. That habit was also encouraged by a self help book (The Artist's Way- the author suggested 3 "morning pages" to be written everyday to get it all out of the head and prevent the blocks to creativity). This post for example was started several days ago and I have finally found ten minutes to sit down and work on completing it. One other habit that I will need to learn is to say no to others and protect my time so that I can write.

"Lite" Reading

There are times in life when all you want is something fun to read. I'm on vacation this week and found that deep, profound literature, or technical work related tomes were just out of the question as reading material. I discovered a light diverting "read" (on audio tape) to accompany me on my tasks this week - the Sookie Stackhouse stories of Charlaine Harris. I am by no means a devotee of vampires or other mythical creatures, but I have to admit I'm liking Sookie a human telepath and her unique set of friends, family, and enemies. I started with a set of short stories on a playaway book device, (These books only require a pair of earphones plugged in and you are all set and good to go. Great for walking, or keeping you company while doing housework, gardening, or my favorite needlepoint) and have moved on to another,  Dead and Gone. One other factor to liking this book series may be the performance given by the narrator, Johanna Parker. She has a gentle Southern accent for Sookie, and "voices" for the other characters.

My plan for the day includes work in the yard (thank God it is finally sunny and warm) and following Sookie on her journey of battling evil vampires out for her blood, the love interest (also a vamp) who is after her blood and more, and the evil fairies who want to punish her for being who she is. What fun!

Asimov Write's Mysteries?

In keeping with my resolution not to buy books this year, I've been spending more time amid the stacks of my local library. Lo and behold there I discovered something I did not know - Isaac Asimov wrote mystery stories! I was first introduced to Asimov by a friend during my freshman year of high school when she encouraged me to read his Foundation series. I continued to read several other sci-fi novels and short stories by Asimov, therefore, it was a pleasant surprise to discover his "Black Widowers" mysteries. Many of the stories in his Puzzles of the Black Widowers originally appeared in Ellery Queen's Mystery Magazine.

I'm currently on vacation this week and enjoyed reading this collection of stories over the past two days. I needed a break from "serious" literature or work related reading matter.

Still Reading

I started this blog around the New Year with every intention that it was to become a resolution of sorts. As with all resolutions or goals, life takes over and they are thrust onto the back burner. The urge to write has come upon me today. I've already completed a quick post to my "gardening blog." I find myself with the time to write today as I enjoyed yesterday's snow day from work getting caught up with household and work related chores. Finding myself with time today, I don't know what to do. Can't work in the yard because I must wait for the new snow to melt and the mud to firm up again. The house doesn't need as much attention because I cleaned yesterday. I have time to spend with my books and my writing.

Speaking of reading, I find myself drawn lately to light material. Fun things to read. Nothing too challenging. Perhaps I want the escape from my world into a different life. Jasper Fforde's new Thursday Next book was a fun read (actually a fun listen as I took it out of the library as an audio book). I just finished Alexander McCall Smith's The World According to Bertie  a continuation of his 44 Scotland Street series. I had started reading it a while back and found the character of Irene, Bertie's mother, so exasperating that I had to put the book down. Perhaps it is because I have met some of those mothers in the real world. Talk about your helicopter parent. This woman is a Black Hawk. I am sticking to my resolution of not buying any new books and I am continuing to make it through the collection of books that I have here so I sat down to finish this one in spite of Irene and her shenanigans. Makes you sympathize with the children of these types of parents. Just when I start to worry I don't work hard enough at being a parent I read an example of over the top parenting and realize I am doing a damn fine job with my children.