A Charming Read

Phaedra Patrick's
The Curious Charms of
Arthur Pepper 

After I lost my father I found that I was drawn to reading books about widows perhaps it was my way of understanding what my mother's new life must be like or even what my life would be if I lost my husband. Just over six months ago we lost my mother-in-law and the roles are reversed, I'm observing what the loss of a wife means to her husband. What would life be like for my husband if I go before him? Phaedra Patrick's The Curious Charms of Arthur Pepper is one such story that gives such an example.

The story opens on the one year anniversary of Miriam Pepper's death and her husband Arthur has decided today's the day to clear out her clothes. In the year since her death, Arthur has gone about living a very regimented life, life as Miriam lived while dodging the helpful concern of fellow widow and neighbor Bernadette, and missing his two grown children. When he discovers a heart shaped box hidden in one of Miriam's boots he uses his locksmith talents to open the lock and discovers a charm bracelet within one that he doesn't remember his wife ever wearing. Why is it hidden away like this? What can it mean? One of the charms, a small elephant, even has a telephone number inscribed on it. Curiosity pushes Arthur to call the number and so begins his journey to learning about who his wife was before he married her. I'll cut to the chase, the real result is Arthur's journey to discovering who he is now.

Back cover quote - funny thing
I've now read all these titles. 

"But not once had his wife made him feel like he wasn't good enough. He was doing that to himself" (Patrick 132). This quote struck right to my heart as the struggle I've been living with all my life. I've always thought that people were judging me, and perhaps they were, but maybe not in the way I thought they were. I've managed to do that for myself and harshly at times. Lesson number one for Arthur, and for me, is to stop doing that to ourselves. The cliche that we need to love ourselves before we can love others is at work again here.

Arthur revisits a seaside vacation spot and discovers a small crab in a tidal pool, "Perhaps I've been stuck in a rock pool too, he thought. I need to be in the sea, even if it's scary and unknown. If I don't do it, then I will shrivel and die" (Patric 287) What really needs to happen for any of us is to heal our hurts in order to open ourselves up to the next great thing that life has to offer us. It takes courage to put ourselves out there in the world. Arthur realizes his desire to expand his horizons. This journey has taken him away from home, introduced him to new people, pushed him out of his comfort zone, and shown him a different side of his wife - a part of her life she wanted to hide from him - "I have to trust that you did it for the right reasons. And I'm still alive. I wish you were, too, but you're not. And I want to live even though it hurts. I don't want to be a dried-up crab" (Patrick 288). And that is so what I want for my husband should I go first - I want him to live.

Patrick, Phaedra. The Curious Charms of Arthur Pepper. United States: Mira Books, 2016. Print.

A Mystic, CT Beach Read

  Mystic River Bascue Bridge
at dusk

Growing up in central Connecticut, Mystic was a town that we visited often on our way to the Rhode Island beaches or to travel on my uncle's boat, which he kept at one of the boat yards on the Mystic River. The Seaport and Aquarium were destinations for school field trips and when my children came along family vacations. So when I saw Hannah McKinnon's Mystic Summer on the summer reads display table at the bookstore I simply had to pick it up and read the back cover details. There I discovered that the main character, Maggie Griffin, is a school teacher like myself  with the summer vacation ahead of her. Sounded right up my alley so I purchased it.

In the opening pages, Maggie is in one of those difficult teacher-parent meetings that only those of us in the profession can appreciate - it's with one of those sets of parents. On the whole I would say that 99.9% of parents are wonderful people to work with but let's face it when our child is at the heart of the matter sometimes our sensibilities go out of the window. I feel for those parents, I really do, but they need to face reality sometimes - their child isn't that bright, or that talented, or has lied about doing their homework, or in the effort to please their parents has cheated in order to get the A. It is one of the downsides of the job, and so too is budget time and Maggie is the victim of cuts. Now her summer vacation is a permanent one.

She takes off from Boston (another location which I'm am very familiar with now do to my son's choice of college and my mother's cancer treatments), to return home for an extended visit with her family and an opportunity to rethink her next move in life. It's not only her job, but her living arrangements (roommate is getting married), and her love life (sexy, actor boyfriend) that need sorting through. It comes as no surprise to readers of this particular genre that of course the wonderful boyfriend isn't quite the right fit and when Maggie runs into her old high school/college flame that old feelings are rekindled. I'll leave the ins and outs of the rest of the story for you to read.

What I liked best was reading a story set in a location that I knew well. I could picture the Main Street of Mystic, the Seaport, the shops, the Crystal Mall, Watch Hill, the Ocean House, and the list goes on. They were familiar and comforting for didn't I want to revisit the town only last summer for a few days of vacation with my husband. We stayed in a cute cottage on the banks of the Pawcatuk River well situated between Mystic and Westerly, RI. The picture above was taken from our dining spot on the patio of the S&P Oyster House as we watched dinghies travel below the bridge and when larger vessels came the drawbridge would open backing up traffic - cars and pedestrian.

This story turned out to be a nice romance, girl figures out the next phase of her life story, and travel book all rolled up into one. As with many novels that I've read, I hope to one day visit the locations that the story is set in. Having visited this location many of times, I would recommend it as a lovely place to vacation and enjoy a good beach read.

Two ways to learn more about Asperger's

Over the years I've worked with several students who have been on the Autism spectrum, and looking back to my childhood before society's growing understanding of Autism, I'm sure I encountered people with this condition. John Elder Robison describes in his memoir Look me in the eye  about growing up in time when being different resulted in his being mis-labeled as a deviant, being told by his teachers and parents that he wouldn't amount to much, and bullied by classmates. It didn't help that his parents themselves struggled with alcoholism and mental illness. In the end John Elder, as his family called him, left school and home at an early age. Luckily, for him, he had a talent, a gift, some would even say a genius for electronics and that saved him.

It was the late 60s early 70s and John Elder began to hang out on the local music scene where he brought his talents to bear in repairing and enhancing sound systems. As his knowledge grew so did his reputation. He eventually became an employee of the rock band KISS developing trick guitars and effects. Wishing to settle down and get married, he walked away from the music industry and went to work in manufacturing as an electronics developer. All the while he continued to struggle with feeling different and trying to deal with interactions with other people.

Finally a friend suggested that he may in fact have something called Asperger's. Reading up on the subject John Elder came to see that there was a name for what he experienced in his life, and that there were older people like him. Over the years and with the birth of his son he learned how to adapt his behavior to what we consider more socially acceptable. The powerful lesson here is for the reader, Robison vividly explains how his mind works. It is only through sharing our inner workings that we can learn about others. There have been many times I've sat and wondered how other people think, do they see what I see, do they hear what I hear, or do they feel the same sensations as I do? Robison has become a successful businessman, husband, father, author, and now advocate for Aspergerians. We all need to learn about Autism and how it impacts the lives of those with the disorder and the people who love them.

The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion is a novel featuring a character who doesn't even know he has Asperger's. Don Tillman is a professor of genetics who lives a very regimented life - practical clothes, planned menu for every day of the week, and times everything in his daily schedule for optimal efficiency. At the beginning of the book he is asked to fill in at a lecture to a group of children and their families about Asperger's so that his philandering friend Gene can cheat on his wife - well they do supposedly have an open marriage. Don does some research, gives the talk, relates with the children, but angers the parents and the woman who had organized the lecture, all not seeing that he himself is undiagnosed with Asperger's.

Don gets the brilliant idea to create a questionnaire in order to find a wife. Gene wanting to throw a spoke in Don's wheel sends him Rosie a woman who definitely will not fill Don's requirements for a wife. The rest of the story as you may guess is the growing friendship and eventual love between Don and Rosie with many ups and downs along the way. Don learns how to deal with one of the greatest challenges for people with Asperger's - how to deal with people when you can't interpret the social cues of facial expressions, body language or spoken figurative language. All these things don't make sense in Don's mind and here again is the lesson for the reader - not everyone's brain works the same. We can't expect everyone to behave the same for none of us is the same. We are not all programed the same way for we are not factory made, we are the result of a lot of chemical reactions which don't always work the same. Doesn't make one of us better than the other - just different and our world would be a much better place if we all could understand this and embrace the differences.

New Installments in Favorite Series

More reads from
Martin Walker and James Runcie

It's always a thrill when one of your favorite authors has put out a new work especially one in a series where you can follow the development of a set of characters. However, there can be a sense of awkwardness when you come into the middle of the character's story line, which I have on more than one occasion, and the author alludes to previous adventures and you have no clue what that means to the character. Then again it does give you the opportunity to search out the earlier titles and catch up on what you've missed, for example I did that with Elly Griffith's Dr. Ruth Galloway series. The only other problem I have experienced with a book series has been that sometimes the author becomes to formulaic and the stories lose their attraction, most notably for me, Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum books. Thankfully, Martin Walker and James Runcie have come through once more.

The Grantchester Mysteries feature now Archdeacon Sidney Chambers as amateur sleuth and Anglican priest. In this newest installment, Sidney Chambers and the Dangers of Temptation,  the 1960s are drawing to a close and world events are drawing Sidney, his family and friends, and society into a new era. As with the earlier books, Sidney is struggling to balance his pastoral duties with his curiosity with crime and assisting his friend Detective Keating with his cases, add to that the pressures of marriage and fatherhood and now you have a character who is forever evolving and never growing boring.

Reading a story that takes place around the time I was a small child gives me a glimpse of what the world was like as I cannot remember those events for I was not yet three when the men walked on the moon. Most notably in this installment of the series, for me at least, was the episode dealing with homosexuality and the legal system in England. In earlier books, Sidney's curate Leonard, is portrayed as struggling with his sexuality, but in this book he has finally met the right person and has fallen in love. Unfortunately, even though homosexuality is no longer a punishable offense, the Church of England hasn't come to grips with the issue nor have many people in society. Leonard is faced with the difficult decision to come out when faced with blackmail. Sidney in his ever caring and thoughtful way gives support to Leonard and instructs the reader about the capacity of God's love. I won't spoil the outcome for you, only know that we are finally making strides today to be inclusive of all.

In contrast, Bruno Courreges, lives very much in our present time, but history has a way of impacting life and one can't always out run its influence. The Children Return focuses on a young autistic man, Sami, from Bruno's village who had disappeared from a local Mosque school and surfaces in Afghanistan. In spite of his disability, or rather as a result of his unique gifts, Sami is in fact a notorious bomb maker wanted by many governments for the deaths of many military personnel. As the book unfolds we are told of the brutality Sami witnessed and suffered in his home country of Algeria and of the impact that the violent struggle that occurred when fighting for independence from France had on him and others. Martin has explored this issue in other books as well.  Now as an adult, Sami has been used by others in their violent struggles. Here too I will not spoil the outcome of the story for you, only to say that terrorists are not born they are made. Children who are witness to brutality or suffer from bullying or abuse will have their personalities altered by the experience and some may grow up to be abusers themselves either on a small scale in their own circle or on a larger world level.

The Buried Giant

What is it that we keep buried deep within our memories? That is the only one of the themes that The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro explores. In this tale of medieval England, an elderly couple witness a malaise among their villagers, something they call 'the Mist,' which robs people of their memories. It results in strange behaviors and ideas among the people, but it isn't just their village that suffers from the Mist, but the entire countryside. The couple set off on a journey to visit their son and on the way encounter other travelers who are seeking a solution to the Mist problem said to be a result of the breath of an aging she-dragon.

There is more than just the Mist that is a problem for our elderly couple, the wife is suffering from a pain and along the way they stop to consult those who are skilled in the healing arts. The husband, Axl, is clearly worried by his wife's ailment, but with the Mist he doesn't see it for what it is. She has hidden her symptoms from him not wishing to worry him. They encounter a group of widows who warn them of the boatmen who would transport them to a distant island, but only after being submitted to interrogation regarding their memories. Only those who really love each other deeply can be together on the island while others are left to wander its shores alone.

Some argue that perhaps fixing the Mist problem wouldn't be such a good thing. Aren't they happy to forget the past, "Yet the mist covers all memories, the bad as well as the good....You've no fear then, of bad memories, mistress?" (Ishiguro 157). To which Beatrice replies, "What's to fear father? What Axl and I feel today in our hearts for each other tells us the path taken here can hold no danger for us, no matter that the mist hides it now. It's like a tale with a happy end, when even a child knows not to fear the twists and turns before. Axl and I would remember our life together, whatever its shape, for it's been a thing dear to us" (Ishiguro 157).

As they travel, their memories do begin to return - the good and the bad. For their marriage hasn't always been good, there has been unfaithfulness, which has been forgiven. Harsh words spoken. The son they seek to visit is in fact dead and buried. And the pain that Beatrice suffers is in fact a sign of a deeper illness buried dead within.

Eventually, Axl and Beatrice encounter the boatman and he speaks with both asking them about their most treasured memories. Each tells of the good and the bad for each are treasured, each type has contributed to their great love for one another. As they climb into the boat, Axl is told there is only room for one passenger and he cannot travel. It is an ache to read of his pleading to be allowed to come, his refusal to be parted from his wife. Yet in the end he has no choice. None of us do when death comes for those we love.

As I read, I tried to figure out what Ishiguro meant by the 'Mist.' Was it tied into society's dependence on escape from experiencing the good and the bad by distraction with technology or worse the use and abuse of drugs and alcohol. Having recently listened to a young man recovering from a heroin addiction, the depiction of the 'Mist' reminded me of his words about how the drug wrapped him in a blanket blocking out the world and his only desire when he came to was to figure out a way to get back to that state. In our communities today the opiate abuse issue is one of great concern, and I don't understand why anyone would be driven to using such a terrible thing to escape from life.

What else could Ishiguro have meant by the 'Mist?' Perhaps I should take it very literally and that as we age we lose our memories. Watching my love ones age and their personalities and memories erased by dementia is heartbreaking. Disease like cancer can alter brain chemistry and result in personality changes that I witnessed in my father's last days. Friends and neighbors share painful stories of caring for loved ones with Alzheimer's, and I've witnessed what happens to the victims of this disease when I visited my grandmother who spent her last years in the memory care ward of a nursing home.

The 'Mist' could mean many different things to different readers. Most importantly for me was the message that there are those that seek to fight the Mist. The importance of holding on to both the good and the bad memories and that one must have both to have a rich full life. That perseverance is a treasured value in helping to achieve a well lived life.