Writing

In touring colleges with my daughter I realize that there is a frustrated English major in me dying to get out. All those years ago I chose to go into Science. Now don't get me wrong, I do love Science. In fact I'm passionate about Science but there is a part of me that loves words and wishes I could spend more time working with them.

"I met people of all ages, everyday of my working life, who were writing because they couldn't stop themselves." (p. 506) Thoughts of Edith the narrator of Kate Morton's The Distant Hours. She's an editor who's just discovered that her own mother had a passion for writing and gave it up years ago, and is a bit too afraid that she can't begin again at the age of 65. This quote gave me hope that perhaps that inner wordsmith has time to come out and create a bit. In fact last night I signed up for NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month a program that encourages the writing of a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. It is all about getting the words out and onto "paper" (nowadays it's electronic paper), quantity over quality at least for the first pass. That's what I need right now because the editor in my head wants to get it down perfectly the first time and that simply can't happen. But if I don't have a goal to sit down and do this writing I might never do it. I have the story idea in my head and notes are beginning to form on paper. In fact I was quite pleased with the ideas that were coming to me today. The challenge will be to schedule enough time to sit and write during the period starting 11/1/11 at 12:00am. I can tell you that I will not be up at midnight starting but I'll get to it some time. Plus the challenge to get it done and uploaded by 11/30. Even if I don't make it at least I will have tried. One of my co-workers went through this process two years ago and the book has been published. There's hope for me yet!

Hector and the Search for Happiness

I was just reading through some notes I made after reading Francois Lelord's Hector and the Search for Happiness, and thought they would make a good post. This book is the story of Hector a successful psychiatrist (even if he doesn't believe that to be true) and his search to find out what makes people happy or unhappy. He has a wide variety of patients some of whom are mental hospital inpatients and others who are "everyday" people who outwardly appear to have everything but are dissatisfied with their lives. Have they pursued the wrong career? Are they in the wrong relationship? Or are they simply bored? Hector decides to travel the world in search of an answer.

I found a quote that struck me as poignant to my own exploration of what happiness is all about. Hector has traveled to Asia and is speaking to an old Chinese monk, "The first time we met, you said to me: it's a mistake to think that happiness is the goal...I was referring to the goals which you  in your civilisation are so good at setting yourselves, and which incidentally allow you to achieve many interesting things. But happiness is a different thing altogether. If you try to achieve it, you have every chance of failing. And besides, how would you ever know that you'd achieved it? Of course one can't blame people, especially unhappy people, for wanting to be happier and setting themselves goals in order to try to escape from their unhappiness." (p. 151-152)

As my life changes I see that my concept of happiness is changing. I too want to have happiness and more so, contentment. Joy is fleeting, contentment more lasting. I've been rushing around working at finding happiness when most of the time it is right in front of me. Sometimes I wonder if I don't allow myself to be happy. Is that a throw back to old fashion Catholic guilt? Are we not allowed to be happy? Did I just experience so much unhappiness in my early life that I don't know what contentment is? Do I spend too much time comparing my self to others and wanting for something to happen that will bring me happiness? It is something for me to contemplate. Sooner or later I will need to quiet my mind and get in touch with my feelings.

I've worked so hard at setting goals and achieving them, but then spend little time enjoying the completion and attainment of those goals. I'm caught up in the cycle of planning and setting a new goal to work on. I need to learn to savor the success for a while before I go haring off after another goal. It's true, acheiving one goal after another doesn't necessarily bring one closer to happiness.